Confessions of a Cat-holic (120)

On his side, I had already met his family, well, part of his family. He had formally introduced me to his parents as his one and only official girlfriend. His mother also acknowledged my status. But I was still not very comfortable to introduce him to my family, especially my mother.

Rex was a gangster but that was not the only reason why I could not introduce him to my parents. He alarmingly resembled my brother, my kin brother, not my godbrother. My kin brother, Da Meng, also was a gangster, which had indeed made my love story with Rex look like another Autumn Fairy Tale. If you were curious about how my brother looked, I would say Poki Ng from ERROR looked something like a mid point between Rex and Da Meng. If I brought Rex home, I would be admitting to my parents that I had had a crush on my own brother. God forbid, I would never commit adultery or incest love. But honestly speaking, I loved my brother so very much that I had had fantasy over him. That was why I always kept my kin brother as my secret. Yes, that would be my confession. I came from a mafia family. My kin brother was a gangster. And I loved him. I loved Rex because he resembled my very own brother, period. Cruel intentions...

And Rex probably also knew that was the reason why I loved him so much. All unspeakable, with a bit of socially unacceptable lust towards my own family member. And I knew he knew that too. And I knew he knew I knew that too. Rex loved me obviously not because I gave him my body, or my virginity. Well, I never did anyways. But he wanted others to see me like that. What an evil guy.

He used me to make him look like the perfect boyfriend, and me as the materialistic girl who fell in love with his wealth despite public enmity towards a triad member. In other words, he wanted to use me to make him look more like a Taurus and me more like a Libra. And interestingly enough, we were indeed a Taurus and Libra on our Venus sign. That was how it all began. Blind faith and false analysis on horoscopes could cure or kill you, gradually and secretly too, I figured.

I didn't know why he wanted to make that as the backdrop of our romance. But I knew very well that it was the perks of dating a gangster. That was, he would not let you know his intentions but I trusted him well enough that it was for the better for both of us. I felt protected by the dark side.

And I had my way of fooling the world as well. But in a different approach. Every time I wanted someone dead, I would start praying in front of Rex, for no apparent reasons. I just felt compelled to pray for my foe whenever I had the urge to murder someone. Maybe I was that little angel from above, after all. One example was Keith. I said I hated him to a point I almost wanted him dead. I meant what I said. But there was no way I could get rid of him through physical force. I said I was the smallest and tiniest figure wise among my peers in St Francis. There was no way I could physically commit a murder by way of strength or with the aid of tools. My small and short physique helped me develop into a wicked person who killed softly with unseen power. I always put up that look of mercy and kindness when I unmistakably said my prayer to Mother Mary, my Heavenly Father and the Son of God. In the name of Jesus, I would say out my wishes and hopes for a better world and tender care for my enemy. Then at the end, I would always, always, always have that look of magnanimity when I ended my invocation with the spell "rescue him, rescue him, rescue him", or "rescue her, rescue her, rescue her" if it was a girl. But I never really had problems with girls. When I hated someone that much to devote a dedicated prayer, it would usually be a boy.

All done in public, in front of my friends, family, and of course, my dear Rex.

Rex knew what I was thinking, as I said. And nobody else could tell what I was trying to convey to my love. It was our secret code. Rex, kill him. Rex, kill him. Rex, kill him.

Ding! Like a magic spell, my enemies would just die and disappear, quietly without making a sound. Rest In Peace.