Confessions of a Cat-holic (160)

Edward seemed to have what I had been looking for. Hey, I would not go all the way out there to fish for a rich bachelor but I totally wouldn't mind if he was wealthy either. After all, I was just like any other woman. I didn't work so hard to marry a slum dog.

I also had a birthday party in September, organized by Ed and his friends from Yale. Compared to Jason's glamorous birthday party, mine was a shame. First, Ed asked his friend, Robert Chung, to play violin for me at the lounge in Carman hall for a surprise, as if I liked classical music. Sometimes I doubted if Ed was trying to impress me, or my friends around me instead? After all these years, he didn't notice that I hated classical music. He didn't seem to read my needs at all as well as my true likings and interests. Ed hardly knew anything about me. He just pretended to know about me through what he heard about me. Did he ever take the time to sit down and listen to what I needed?

I appreciated his efforts but he was just trying to impress me so he could get laid. Yes, whatever he did for me, he just wanted to get laid in the end. His motives were way too obvious.

He was trying to "win" my heart, by showing off his grades and academic achievements. All he talked about was how his friends from Yale were going to perform at glee club on campus, as if I cared. He talked to me in a condescending manner because I was a Yale reject and he put my school down by mocking my peers who got into Columbia the same year as me. He said those who got into Columbia were repeaters, they were losers who had tried but failed to get into Harvard Yale. He even said that my engineering school was not part of Ivy League and that I wasn't a legitimate affiliate of Columbia. He asserted that the Yale brand was truly an American university with American values for Americans and that Columbia was just an easy school with open doors for international students. For all the hard work I put in in getting into a school I cherished and took pride in, he just trash talked it in a way like it was a community college. Yes, overrated Yale was a rival of Harvard and his brother went to both. But I still wouldn’t forgo my straightness and kidney for such a name.

Another thing I didn't like about Ed was that he came from a jesuit school. We had different religious belief systems. It was okay if we were just dating but I would not want to marry such a guy because of our divergence in values. He was a guy who emphasized a lot on 儀式感, which in English would be a sense of ceremony or ritual. I didn't need a man who sent me flowers and balloons on my birthday. I didn't need a man who would ask his friends to play violin after dining. I didn't need a man who would put a ring in a cake to propose. I wouldn't need a man who would kneel down and vow to me that he would love me forever, while fucking all my rivals behind my back. I wouldn't need a man who would write poems to express his love for me. I wouldn't need a man who displayed romance and told the entire world that he loved me, while nodding to whoever offered to have sex with him.

Yes, he was a double major in maths and economics, the epitome of a STEM elite from Hong Kong but he applied that in dating relationship too. I heard he used econometrics and mathematical theories to explain love. His love tactics was that he would fuck as many girls he wanted by 25 and marry the best woman out there after 37%. In Ed's terms, he had had 1000 sex partners by his 30s, which would mean that he could fuck as freely as he wanted all the way up til his 370th sex partner. Then, after that, he would marry the most optimal woman in his pool to ensure that he had had enough new faces by the time he settled down. And too bad, I showed up before him by his 370th sex partner, and he lost track of his counts after 3000.

Ed was the last person I would consider marrying. I knew about this the first day I met him when he told me that everybody called him 田雞. He grew up in a slum, the poorest district of Hong Kong on chart. He was a retard with perfect GPA. He was deaf. He was easy and sleazy. He was sissy, like a girl. His voice was high pitched, which I suspected was a result of his over indulgence in sex that led to his sex hormones depletion.