Confessions of a Cat-holic (33)

Then it was the morning assembly. Everything felt a bit more at ease at SPCC. There were chairs in the hall for us to settle ourselves when we said our morning prayers. Apart from the missing body of Jesus Christ on the cross in the hall, the second thing I noticed about this Christian school was that the songs were cacophonous. Catholic songs, on the other hand, sounded much better. The prayers used different wordings to refer to "sin". I did not like the word trespass. I also disliked the word "art" and "hallowed". Oh, and they didn't have a prayer for Hail Mary.

But then again, it could be that I was biased because I was too accustomed to my childhood recollections. St Francis' morning assembly resembled that of a boot camp. Many of us could not stand the cold and even passed out while singing hymns in the bleak winter. My life was tough but I went through it anyways. At that time, I thought everyone else in Hong Kong had a life similar to mine. It was only after I started at SPCC that I realized people in Central had it much easier than me. I was grateful to now settle in a new, yet less challenging, environment. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

And then there was the principal's speech. It was not difficult to notice their school motto "faith, hope, love" after hearing it for more than a thousand times during my three years of schooling in SPCC. They were desperate enough to highlight again that biblical verse on my first day of school. Then again, I was mature enough to realize that it was another school's propaganda. Every school had it, and SPCC was no exception. Brainwashing wouldn't work on me anymore, otherwise I could have been a love zombie dressing in pink pajamas shopping around for a boyfriend. The difference between a single sex school and a co-ed school was that girls in a single sex school did not quite stress over the attention they got from guys. I was comfortable with my body shape, my appearances and my image because there was simply no opposite sex in my surroundings when I grew up. Getting a boyfriend or having a relationship was not on my agenda.

The classes were seated in the hall according to seniority. I looked around, after all I finally had a chair and was comfortable enough to check out any handsome faces, if there were any. Well, it was hugely to my disappointment, until I discovered someone's silhouette sitting in a class a year above me. I was curious about him. He reminded me of Angel. His facial features, his hair, his back, his athletic body, his vibes, his temperaments, all made me mourn over the tragic loss of my dear friend over the summer. I was too sentimental to refuse myself to soak in the reminiscence on my old days. My alma mater had become part of me and I had become part of my alma mater. Letting go of my community where I came from was like denying my own identity. Even though I was dressed in a new uniform, singing new hymns and prayers in an unfamiliar environment, I still felt too nostalgic to call myself a SPCC student. This guy I saw in the hall just miraculously filled that hole of emotional attachment to my good old buddies.

But I was quite cautious on my first days of school. I did not want to appear flirtatious in a co-ed environment I hardly knew anything about. I kept my curiosity a secret. They said that I was sinfully seductive because I dropped an eraser on the floor once. I wondered what they could have said if they found out I made a ritual to stare at his back in morning assembly for three consecutive years.

It turned out that his name was Rex, Rex Hui. Then I thought what kind of name was that? It sounded like rats, just like the year of Chinese zodiac sign which I was born in. But his behavior and character definitely was not rat-like. He almost came last in every single index that quantified our performance in school. I was not attracted to him just for his looks. But it was his looks that got me curious about him. Later I found out that, he didn't quite go by his real name. Most of his friends called him "bear bear", a name I immediately fell in love with.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aosRlnxg9I