Confessions of a Cat-holic (68)

There could be an analogy drawn to other career opportunities, like I could be an interior designer but I wouldn't be able to do the job of an architect. I said, I was not able to do it. It was a matter of ability, not desire or passion. No, it was not about the grades or the level of academic achievements. I could get in CUHK's architect department if I wanted to but I knew very well that I didn't have what it took to be an architect because I hated physics. I wouldn't be able to do the maths to make sure a bridge or a floorplan wouldn't fall apart. Constructing bridges and buildings and making sure they were safe, wouldn't that be what an architect was fundamentally doing? Given my intelligence and work ethics, I might be able to pass and get myself in the field if I worked my ass off. But would I be able to enjoy my profession years down the road?

Architects were dealing with buildings, structures, and three dimensional spaces; failures to do well in the physics calculations could end up in catastrophes like the collapses of skyscrappers. Like medical doctors, architects had the responsibilities to deal with issues that were as critical as life and death situations.

Not only that I hated the physics calculations inevitably involved in floor plan structures, I hated using my hands to build and uphold a model. I also could not draw, as a matter of fact. I could paint, but I could not draw. I liked visual arts but I could not draw, period.

You might think I was being overly critical on myself again. No, I could not even draw a three dimensional cube or chair right. I had a good sense of color matching and aesthetics. But I could not even draw. I could do fine in home decor but designing a landscape or building? Er....I just couldn't do it.

That was the thing about Asian mindsets. When they thought about career choices, money and compensation came first before anything. They wouldn't look even closely into the job nature and daily work in real life. If you were good in maths and liked counting money, be an accountant, not a cashier. If you drew well, be an architect and not an artist or designer. Art wouldn't pay. The job title of a designer was not as respectable as a chartered professional. If you were good at physics, be a civil engineer because it was the most stable career option. If you were good with languages, be a lawyer, not a journalist or writer. The society pushed us to pursue excellence and forget about our own strengths. We should all work our ass off to get the most desirable job titles, not because we could do it, but because everyone else wanted it so badly. Since when were we taught to monetize and go after others' dreams, instead of our very own?

I wouldn't know. In the environment I grew up in, my friends all had their own individuality and pursuits in life. Some of my childhood friends were chemistry majors, having founded a cosmetic production line with their own research projects. Karen Lee was one. After she graduated from Cambridge with a scholarship, she worked in a bank and later worked as an admission consultant at The Edge Learning Center. She was also a columnist for AM730 and fellow of Cambridge Overseas Trust, while having founded 21 grams, a skin care product company. Rosa Sim started her own natural skin care line, Jenny Mad Rose, and distributed her products in a few stores in the malls of Hong Kong, after working at SaSa and Bonjour cosmetics as a merchandiser. My other friend, Kitty Cheng, was a manager at Fancl after graduating from HKU. Priscilla Shum worked as an event manager in a local public relations firm where she organized press conferences and concerts for celebrities in town. Mahira worked as a journalist in lifestyle magazine, Eat and Travel Weekly, where she commented on the dining and travel experiences in the Asia Pacific region. Fanny worked as a recruiter at JobsDB. Jane, the forever champion and valedictorian of our year, worked as a senior counsel for the Hong Kong government after her traineeship in the private practice at an international law firm.