Am I supercilious?

I know for a fact that many people think that I am arrogant, that I am condescending, that I have my nose up in the air.

Maybe I was the alpha type of elites. But not anymore. Columbia has taught me how to be confident yet humble, accomplished yet grounded. Yes, I am unapologetically myself.

How was I like before I went to Columbia?

I was very religious, if anything. My favorite middle school teacher was Miss Yim who taught me religious studies and Miss H Wong who taught me history. I was also their favorite student. Maybe you wouldn't believe it, I was the kind of Catholic who would stay behind every school mass, and would kneel down on the bench and keep talking to God for half an hour and even cry in my worship.....Not saying that I believed in Jesus or Mother Mary, but I believe in fatherly almighty God.

But New York is very anti-Christian. New York is Jewish. You can be hindu, buddhist, atheist, catholic, islamic, muslim, but just not Christian.

I grew up in a very conservative Catholic environment. And we were educated in a way that we should slay any men who would try to smear our reputation in the name of love.

How would you feel if all of your friends look like porn stars? I was told that I looked like 晶女郎邱淑貞 over 1000 times. My friend Hatty Leung looked like 晶女郎朱茵 (yes she was also a porn star). My 大姐姐 Alice Wong looks like 晶女郎文凱玲; my friend from St Mary's Caecilia Chu looks like 葉玉卿. To make things worse, my ex looks like 張立基 who had a long term relationship with 葉玉卿.

And our school principal 羅勤忠 allegedly resembles 吳奇隆 because our school is a big fan of 楊采妮.

My first pornographic movies were 梁家輝's 情人 and 邱淑貞's 慈禧秘密生活.

I knew what happened to us, to me, to my friends, to my fellow 大姐姐, generations after generations, as early as the age of 6.

How would you feel if you grew up in my environment?

Would you still believe in love? Would you still believe in men? Would you still believe in marriage and romance?

I think I hated men deep from the bottom of my soul.

I even confessed to my mother at the age of 8 that I wanted to become a nun. That's how much I hate men. I still hold this motto to my heart: I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out that there is.

I have to say that my attitude towards men has changed quite a bit since I studied abroad.

I realize that actually men in the states respect women and don't treat us like a used sports car.

There is no racial discrimination in the environment that I was in.

No white supremacy. White people don't mock other races and Asians are not nerdy.

Being obsessed with money does not equate being good with money. Americans don't flaunt brand name items or materials to gain respect. These are for clowns.

Americans, and rich Americans have better things to do than watching television all day to book any Miss Pageant for short term sexual relationships.

Sometimes I really hope that I was born in another country, anywhere but just not Hong Kong.

Hong Kong is tunnel-visioned, superficial and infatuated with money.

Anything Hong Kong boasts about is funny: efficiency (which means that we are basically restless), readiness to work til death (need I say more), willingness to bend over backwards, dynamic vibrancy (fueled by paid sex), compactness (which is just another word for crammed), exciting night life (is it a pull or push factor), easy access to prostitution (sex tourism again), convenience, racial homogeneity, individual can-do attitude with multiple jobs, night shifts, night schools, oriental yet western mix (which is actually 唔中唔西), 平靚正 at the compromise of quality...

Actually, it is only funny to foreigners.

It is just a branding strategy that makes us look idiotic.

We are just another 山寨 city in Asia.