Confessions of a Cat-holic (1)

Contrary to public belief, English was actually one of my weaker subjects. I grew up speaking Cantonese as a typical student in a local school.

I never believed in prodigy. Some people might have certain gifts and talents but I believed success came from hard work. Intelligence could be a curse in disguise because we tended to overlook details and underestimate others' capabilities when we found ourselves too special. I remembered, as late as primary 3, I could hardly distinguish the difference between Tuesday and Thursday because they both started with a T. I used to struggle to pronounce the word "twelve" and "twenty" because I couldn't roll my tongue right. As of now, I still could hardly spell the word Feburary correctly. Auto-correct was my best friend. My English competency was actually among the worst in class in my Catholic upbringing. My other friends were listening to western music when I spent hours sitting in front of the TV singing along Cantonese opera. I used to mock my friend, Jennifer, who spoke with a heavy American accent as a British passport holder. We made fun and bullied those who refused to conform to speak Chinglish. We always added a "la" at the end of every sentence. The local school environment did not give us the room to be international or speak like a native English speaker.

I kind of had a Canadian/American accent though. I picked it up when I hang out with my Canadian family friend, Oliver. Oliver went to Chinese International School and he hardly spoke any Cantonese. We used to hang out a lot as kids. I was educated in a Catholic school so of course I understood what he said. I usually replied in words and stuttered in English. I listened though. I learned English through careful listening. I didn't talk a lot because I didn't like speaking in a foreign language. Even though I was not a loving person with a big heart and I never ever even fantasized about wedding and marriage, I could see myself getting married with this childhood friend of mine growing up. It had nothing to do with his wealth or residence. He was very attractive in any girl's standards. But of course, I would never show my secret admiration towards him. Life was always beyond competitive in Hong Kong.

The fact that I spoke English quite fluently with a weak Canadian accent among my local friends was quickly noticed by my rivals in school. A schoolmate of mine, Lavinia Sin, would join the English speech festival and won me with a champion award. She liked to compete and surpass me in every area in life. She used to wear a LeSportsac bag to school every day because I liked to hang out with the athletes in school. She knew about Oliver and that he lived in the richest neighborhood in town. She later grew up to date and marry a guy from Hong Kong International School just to prove that she was no less than me. Out of all the countries, she picked Santorini for her honey moon trip because that was the answer to my password reminder question about my dream destination. She also befriended my childhood friends and joined a company which I longed to get employed, Li and Fung, upon her graduation. When I worked as a marketing executive at an American law firm, she quitted her job and did almost the same at the biggest local law firm. I found it really annoying to have a shadow friend like her. I never spoke to her even though we went to the same school for 8 years. I refused to talk to her. We surely knew of each other's existence but I would not even call her my acquaintance.

I didn't like changing environments. I liked my neighborhood, my school and my Catholic upbringing. Of course, it was not perfect but I never looked for anything perfect. I switched to attend a Christian school nearby because my friends were getting more and more violent to the extent where I would find myself in physical danger. I applied to just one school and I got in, quite luckily. I would not attempt anything too ambitious because I knew that I was not that special. I never won any awards in any speech or singing competition. The only strength that I had would be Chinese writing. I used to read a lot of romance novels, crime fictions and classic literature in Chinese. I liked to write a lot, even when I was kid. But I kept it to myself. Only my close friends would know about my secret talents which would be acting, debating and writing.

Things started to turn around a little bit ever since I transferred school. The school which I transferred to was a Christian school. Students there worshipped Jesus like a super star, which I could not comprehend. Everyone should know that Mother Mary was not a virgin and that Jesus did not quite resurrect. I guessed they had been dreaming of a white Christmas. The absolute majority of the student body all engaged in music festival. They played at least one kind of musical instrument. I always felt like an awkward outsider because I could not sing or even read any musical notes. To me, they were like home-schooled students because they didn't know how life could be like in other public schools. They didn't know anything beyond the serene classroom. I felt like studying in a wonderland. Thanks to their Christian upbringing, my new schoolmates wouldn't even curse or swear in Cantonese and all they did was solving equations and singing Christian hymns in lunch breaks and recesses. The difference between my alma mater and this new Christian school was like heaven and hell. I wouldn't comment on who was hell and who was not. I would let you have your own judgment.

In my first year at this Christian school, I easily scored the second in class without much tutoring and outside help. My new friends would always brag about their IQ score which I found amusingly funny. I never encountered any self-proclaimed geniuses in my alma mater. Girls in my old school were ruthless, ruthless warriors. All we cared about was fighting back when attacked. It was a totally different world. I called it parallel universe.