Confessions of a Cat-holic (100)

This could be another reason that I almost fell in love at first sight with Rex. Of course, I never trusted my gut feelings too much. But Rex truly stood out from the rest of the school because he looked normal and healthy, which was hard to come across in a school like this. Figure-wise, he was bigger and taller than me. He looked like he had a life outside of school. He was athletic with a close knit group of friends. Academic-wise, he was a total failure, without a doubt. But his failure in school was never a concern for me. I didn't believe academic excellence equated intelligence, even though our Principal, Mr. Poon, sometimes advocated eugenics idealogies like a Nazi but he was not yet a German but a resident at Tin Shui Wai and Tai Po, all the way in the villages of New Territories. And, stranger than Doctor Strange, he was actually proud about that.

My relationship, also my very first relationship, with Rex my first love was not purely based on unconditional trust and passion, despite our intimacy as a couple. I was not just in love with him and I was not just physicall attracted to him. It was all of the above plus a strategic alliance in which I believed we were meant for and completed each other. That visceral urge to be his company was never a coercion. It was our common aversion for magnanimity that drew us together.

As a stereotypical Virgo, I was not easily brainwashed with the concept of faith, hope and love. I was more concerned about my wellbeing and sexual health. Unfortunately, I was also a bit of an OCD, which meant that I spent a disproportionately considerable amount of time pondering things like germs, bacteria, viruses and of course sexually transmitted diseases. I could associate a rubberband with the shape of a cellular wall in a virus, to give you some idea about how obsessed I was regarding biologicaly concepts and virology. Maybe it was my horoscope or maybe it was the training of my alma mater. We were shown videos of full blown AIDS patients in school before we knew what sex was. I never even saw the picture or video of a dick but I was already overwhelmed by all the "viral" information (yeah literally) supplied by our Sisters in school during our classes in health education. Love was not something we were looking for, not in my alma mater. We were trying to run away from problems and public health crises, rather than seeking remedies and salvation through love.

Prior to the start of academic year in F4, I still had a bit of a fantasy over the possibility of dating someone in the pre-med class, like many girls would. They said that doctors were angels and they were highly respected as medical professionals. Not only they earned a lot, but it was a holy career which aimed to save lives of many patients. I, too, had pondered to be a doctor's wife, perhaps moving to the mid levels for an upgrade of residence through hard work and perseverance. I once believed that doctors possessed enough medical knowledge to be considered "clean" and "sacred". It was a job that paid well with security and stability afterall. In addition, I thought that the strenuous requirements for getting into the profession made it almost free from competition from the rest of us in the social pyramid.

But it was just a fantasy, and maybe the fantasy of many others who knew nothing about these future doctors. The fact that I was sitting in the same class with these doctors-to-be had placed me into total disillusionment.

If you googled Hong Kong doctors under the section of local news, you would discover that almost every year there would be a few cases of leukaemia patients (and specifically from SPCC) trying to overcome their health problems by earning a seat in the medical school, together with another few highly stressed physicians or surgeons committing voyeurism in a way to alleviate their pressure from work, which made me sometimes worry that I too might have been photographed by hidden camera in the fitting room or toilet as a victim of non-consensual upskirt-photography.