Confessions of a Cat-holic (135)

I had to make up stuff to make it look like I had sex, and many times too, with Rex. The thing was that I truly was a virgin but I knew very well that I could not act like one. So, I started with lies that involved the five senses. I had never seen his dick yet. But I knew how to sound otherwise. Five senses, audio, visual, touch, smell, taste. Just like how others made up stories like he licked my pussy and armpit real hard, I, too, had to act like I had tried his dick, his geoduck clam dick.

I had never had him take off his pants or underpants in front of me. But when we kissed, I could feel his dick. Just by sensing his penis size with my pussy, I could tell he had an unusually large penis. I had never seen other penises or did a census to measure the mean size of penises in Hong Kong but I could tell that his penis was so big that I worried putting it into my vagina would hurt real bad. I didn't know about other dicks but his dick was too big to ignore. Just because I had an average pussy, if I had an average pussy and his dick felt too big to fit, then he must have a dick way larger than average. My logic was right, it should be at least. And time did tell that I was correct.

So subtly I started to load myself with a lot of products that included the character Big Bird from Sesame Street. Everyone knew what hidden meaning the Big Bird conveyed. Even though my favorite characters were by far the Cookie Monster and Ernie, I thought I should start wearing Big Bird around so people subconsciously became aware that I liked Big Bird, aka big penises. Big Bird was yellow and fluffy, and of course, unusually bigger than average, just like Rex's dick.

To make things look more opposite to the truth, I started making yellow jokes. My friends, Mindy and Keith, were talking about our Physical Education teacher, Mr Ma, the other day. They wanted to say that he was unmarried for the longest time because his girlfriend was looking down upon him for his relatively low pay as a high school teacher. They made a hand sign that was supposed to look like the Korean way of denoting heart, with two fingers crossing and moving against each other. Back then, the hand motion was supposed to mean little, that could be money wise, or otherwise.

So I interrupted one day. I said, wait a minute, did you mean that his girlfriend think that his dick was too small? That just got everybody laughing in the room, leaving my friends with the belief that I was a horny chick who cared more about dick sizes than, say, pay even. Inception tricks, I knew how to implant ideas into my friends' brains. You could call it magic, but I learned much about mind control from watching Derren Brown's shows. Derren Brown used a variety of methods to achieve his illusions including traditional magic/conjuring techniques, memory techniques, telepathy, shamanism, hypnosis, body language reading, cognitive psychology, cold reading, psychological and subliminal (specifically the use of PWA - perception without awareness) and ideomotor suggestion. Others additionally ascribed methods to him that he denied, ranging from the pseudoscience Neuro-Linguistic Programming to paid actors.

And I was successful. My scheme was a successful collaboration with Rex and it worked perfectly well. Everyone assumed that I was the modern day Dae Janggeum, the medical doctor with a grassroot background who wished to change destiny by marrying the king with a doctoral degree. Dae Janggeum also meant something big, long, and golden, whatever you would like to describe. I would say most people could link it to penis again.

That being said, I was not at all creative. I was just a person who had intense interests in history. I learned warcraft strategies from ancient history. Sometimes, it was through reading; sometimes it was through watching TVB drama. I had been a big fan of costume drama, especially those involved survival game theories in a palace. And people who knew history well should be able to tell that I was just a replicator of Qin's art of war.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbcuDk5NxzQ