Confessions of a Cat-holic (162)

I thought choosing Eddie over Ed was a no brainer. Anyone would have done so. Eddie was so much better off than Ed in all aspects. Girls wouldn't care if a guy had straight As, this could be universal and for men too. But Sharon didn't think so. She thought that she was more intelligent than everyone else in this world, like I didn't know her intentions to ruin my love life. But she was "too simple, sometimes naive".

Because of differences in value and belief system, Sharon could not quite comprehend why I broke up with Ed just days before he proposed. I was therefore dubbed "the Malala of Hong Kong", someone who dedicated her life to improve women rights and education in her own country, because I didn't seem infatuated with stocks and investments, or hyped about marrying a banker like Ed. I was also coined "the Peng Chau resident trying to break into CBD", "the dyslexic athlete", "the ADHD scholar" and "the Japanese girl with a Russian heart", because I seemed to embrace communist idealogies in choosing looks or physical hotness over Ed's promising paychecks.

My "friends" didn't seem to know the insider story. Yvonne Ma speculated that I wanted to be the next Cathy Tsui, fishing only for the titans in town; Vicki on the other hand claimed that I was Filipino, because I preferred foreign guys. I was just worried that I had to have unprotected sex with Ed after marriage, and it was something I was not ready for. They obviously didn't understand my deepest worries and concerns, but why should I let everyone know my fears anyways? I didn't want Ed's diseases, that was all. Yes, a 5-year relationship, even though long distance, meant something to most girls. After we hit mid 20s, our face and body shape would all deteriorate like a second-hand used sports car. And Ed, on the outside at least, looked impeccable. A head boy from Wahyan, then a valedictorian at Yale, with multiple offers at Hong Kong's investment banking division as an analyst. His net worth would only go up like an exponential curve but I still sold him short before we tied the knot. How idiotic I might look with the risk of turning myself into an object of ridicule for more than a decade, I had no regrets. If only you found out his starting salary was only 15000 HKD a month offered by both JP Morgan and Merrill Lynch.

Ed even hacked the computer of the HRs among the bulge bracket banks to steal their resume books. I had some computer-science-major friends from the engineering school too. They could be the Mark Zuckerberg of Columbia but they were doing things that were way more meaningful, like creating the precursor of Facebook or hacking into the Pentagon of US Security. But Ed used his intelligence to fucking steal a resume book that was readily public on LinkedIn. Really? You spent that much time and effort, only to steal a fucking pathetic resume book? Come on, you had got to be kidding me. I sometimes doubted if Ed needed an IQ test to qualify a layman role at any organization. Oh, and a deaf test too, I suspected he was audibly impaired. Linkedin was already in place by the time he showed me his trophy resume book. And I had to say that this would not be how you got ahead of others in a competitive environment because most of the relationship hires or legacy candidates would not state their status and connections on the resumes. They had special passage which meant their resumes would not even go through the normal screening by an HR. Well, at least he didn't hack college board or Princeton review to steal SAT questions. Maybe he did, but I wouldn't know.

Despite all these, I wouldn't show it on my face how despicable Ed was, as a man. I liked my poker face, I liked to see my rivals keep offering to fuck my ex Edmond like he was the most wanted man in this world. I even pretended to have multiple orgasms when we got intimate in front of the cameras. Oh, and my experiment worked really well. His kidney(s) depleted and failed by the time he reached early 20s and he was hospitalized a few times for emergency. I hoped he passed along all his STDs to my rivals too. Haha....can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face.