A mid summer night hare (62)

So Ackley arrives at Acetate Clinic the next morning. Dr. Aggie Yeung is a bit reserved in her conversation with Ackley.

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Are you Ackley Chin?”

Ackley seems a bit impatient and says, “Yes, just give me the report.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “I will give you the report but you need to answer a few questions first.”

Ackley says, “Go ahead.”

Dr Aggie Yeung asks, “How many sex partners do you have?”

Ackley says, “I forget. I can’t keep track.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Please take my questions seriously.”

Ackley says, “More than 1000.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “You have more than 1000 sex partners by the age of 33?”

Ackley says, “Yes, why do you look so surprised? You know, those kings in ancient times have 3000 concubines. I am just half of what he fucks. I am not there yet.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Have you traveled overseas in the past few weeks or blow any chicken butt?”

Ackley says, “Yes, not just blow. I lick their tails hard. So what?”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “How do you feel now?”

Ackley says, “My penis is blue, and crooked. For a while, I was impotent. But after taking some Viagra, I feel okay again. This is totally normal, right? Most men experience impotency some time in their lives.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Ackley Chin, frankly speaking, your test results are not looking good.”

Ackley says, “What do you mean? I am your client. I pay you to solve my problems.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “If we can solve your problems….”

Ackley says, “What’s wrong? Just be honest with me. I am totally healthy.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Actually all your test results are positive. Results matter.”

Ackley says, “I don’t understand what you are trying to say.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “You have been infected with syphilis, chlamydia, HPV, gonorrhea, genital warts, hepitatis A,B,C, herpes, HIV, that is you have AIDS. Your urine sample shows that you have abnormal glomerulus activities. You may have proteinuria. Your liver is severely damaged by the hepatitis viruses and you have mild form of liver failure. Your lungs are scratched. We believe that you have tuberculosis. “

Ackley says, “This is impossible. I use a condom every time I have paid sex. Only for a few dozen times I forget to wear condoms but Hong Kong statistics shows that only 1 in 500 in Hong Kong have AIDS. Statistically, only 1 or 2 of my sex partners could have had AIDS. I won’t be affected.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Condoms can only lower your chance of STDs infections. Many people have unprotected anal and oral sex. This can also transmit diseases.”

Ackley says, “This is impossible. I am Ackley Chin, I am top of the world. I am the most wanted man in this universe. I won’t have AIDS!”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “I can refer a psychiatrist to you. Many people after contracting HIV have delusions, like thinking that they are the Son of God or Messiah. This is not that uncommon. We can prescribe you some medications to control your mental problems. The thing is that we also discover something else in your reports.”

Ackley says, “You bastard. Whats the problem?”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “I understand your anger and rage. Afterall, AIDS is a terminal disease. But we also find a lot of anomalies in your test results. Your white blood cells exceed normal in hundreds of times. Your lymphocytes are mutated. Also， there is hemorrhage in your many organs, including intestines, liver, kidney and spleen.”

Ackley says, “Don’t talk medicine to me, I don’t understand a word you say.” 

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “We are suspecting that you are infected with an emerging undiscovered highly infectious sexually transmittable disease. We only know that the infection is caused by an unknown virus. As this virus looks like the hybrid of the Ebola virus and HIV， we are thinking that you may have been infected with a virus that may have been the combination of Ebola and HIV. This virus is as infectious as ebola and as deadly as HIV. We are not sure of the pathology of this virus yet but we have obtained some data to deduce that sexual intercourse and the exchange of body fluids have been the main infectious channels of this disease. We have submitted your case and your test results to WHO. You will be their main target of investigation.”

Ackley says, “I am the target of WHO research?”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Yes, please be cooperative. This research will have huge impact on public health. I should put it this way, you must cooperate. Or else, the world would be over soon. It may be as disastrous as the Apolcalypse.”

Ackley says, “I am clean!”

Dr. Aggie Yeung says, “According to the WHO guidelines, we need to quarantine you to stop your viruses from spreading.”

Ackley says, “What? Why are you quarantining me? You are exploiting my human rights. You can’t quarantine me.” 

Dr. Aggie Yeung says, “We are carrying out all necessary measures to stop your diseases from going viral. Otherwise, it would be a serious public health issue both locally and on a global scale. You have to cooperate.”

Ackley says, “What do you want from me?”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “We are now going to perform chemical castration on you. You will then be impossible to perform any sexual activities with other individuals. Now sign this agreement and promise that you will not engage in any high risk sexual intercourse including anal and oral sex with any men, women or transgenders. Also,  you cannot donate blood.”

Ackley says, “What is chemical castration?“

Then, Dr Aggie Yeung already takes out her tools. The nurse comes in to calm him down. She quickly gives him an injection.

Ackley says, “What is this? What are you injecting?”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Don’t fret. Hong Kong doctors are very humane. We are just performing chemical castration on you. It is not going to hurt and will end in split seconds.”

Ackley says, “What will happen after this injection?”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “You will be unable to get aroused or perform any sexual activities.”

Ackley says, “Why? Why are you doing this to me?”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “You may not realize that your mere existence has posed material threats to the public health of humanities in this universe. I am just acting to protect the common health of all men on this planet.”

Ackley says, “I am fine. You are taking away my rights of reproduction.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “This is just step 1. And there are more to come. Enjoy.”

Ackley says, “What else will happen?”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Not so optimistic.”

Ackley says, “What is that supposed to mean? Can you talk like a human?”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Conservatively speaking, you will be deaf, mute, blind and crippled; you will die from blood and foam puking. Your nostrils, eyes, earholes, and your mouth will have severe bleeding. Your immune system will be totally messed up and your bones will be fractured and you will be paralyzed. Your face will be smashed. Your kidney will burst and your liver will degenerate. Your limbs will fall off your torso. You will be covered in blisters. Your skin will crack. Your eyeballs will be eaten away. Your sexual organs will be covered in warts and pus. Because you have acquired immunity deficiency syndrome, even mold is powerful enough to infect your lungs and you will die from tuberculosis.” 

Ackley says, “Are you scaring me? I am not easily worried.”

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “Don’t be. This is just my conservative predictions. The reality should be even more exaggerating.”

Ackley says, “I don’t believe you. This is impossible.” 

Dr Aggie Yeung says, “You won’t have many days left. Just take it easy. May you rest in peace.”