Confessions of a Cat-holic (112)

Granduncle Ben had a Taiwanese wife who looked like Lana Wong, the famous socialite known by every household in Hong Kong. I forgot her name already, so I would just call her Whitney. Whitney had flamboyant taste of fashion, overdone makeup and possibly plastic surgery and an exaggerated haircut that reminded people of the taitais in the 60s. No offence, I was all into retro-fashion.

She liked to constantly brag about her family's ties with celebrities. They sent me those custom made self printed Christmas cards every year with photos of their family and other exciting updates. One time, it was George Bush. Apparently, their daughter, Christina Kuo, wedded Ned Graham, the son of George Bush's spiritual leader, Billy Graham. So at their wedding, George Bush showed up and they took a photo with each other.

Okay, very impressive. I felt somewhat honored to be part of this big yet distant family.

Then, another Christmas went by, and Whitney was talking about her grand-grandfather in China. He must have passed away already, because Whitney was already in her late 60s then. Whitney said that Christina came from a blue blood lineage because she was the grand-grand-granddaughter of Zeng Guofan (曾國藩), who was almost the chancellor of Qing Dynasty, the last dynasty of China. Zeng was famous for his student, Li Hongzhang (李鴻章), who was considered the "Oriental Bismarck". I guess I wouldn't need to spend much words about Bismarck, right? Everyone knew who he was.

And then, apparently, the grand-grand-granddaughter of Zeng's brother married Ye Jianying (葉劍英), former vice provost of Whampoa Military Academy and the grandfather of Robynn Yip the singer. And Billy Graham had a daughter, Pearl Buck (賽珍珠), who was the first female winner of the Pulitzer Prize and Nobel Prize in Literature. And she was the only female who won both of these two prizes.

Pearl Buck wrote a famous novel called "Letter from Peking". Peking meant "the northern capital" in Chinese. Whitney also mentioned another acquintance of hers, the Chinese writer Lin Yutang, who also had a famous novel namely "Moment in Peking" (京華烟雲). He was more famous for his book "My country and my people" (吾國吾民).

Oh, and Whitney also told me that there was another writer related to Chancellor Li Hongzhang. His son-in-law's granddaughter was Eileen Chang (張愛玲), the writer as well known as Pearl Buck in China. So did that mean I was related to my idol, Eileen Chang, by blood?! This could not be true.

Their letters and Christmas card really made me forget about the festive events in life because they looked more like college application essays with a hell lot of name dropping and listed awards and accolades, together with a brag sheet of family history and celebrated legacy.

Hey, I got some friends over here in Hong Kong too, no one was an island. I had a kin brother on my mother's side and many cousins in Canada. It was just that I grew up with the thugs in Wanchai and my friends were all desperados and scoundrels in the triads, so I had nothing to brag about. To be honest, they were not even supposed to be exposed in limelight, so I'd better keep my mouth shut.

But Whitney and Ben would not stop self-boasting. They came all the way to Asia, just to make us look bad so they could feel good about themselves. If they were that high up in the society, the best I could have done was to ask them for a job, or something along the line, like a recommendation or a referral, if not a loan. So I told them I wanted to go to college in the states, and I told them I wanted to be an engineering major too, almost on the brink of asking him to be my guardian and co-sign my financial aid package next. I asked Granduncle Ben if he could help me get in the engineering school of UIUC, given that I could not do physics. That was not too much to ask for, if they were so connected. Hey, I wanted some connections here too. Asia was an undeveloped continent and Hong Kong was third world inferno hell with only Suzie-Wong-like prostitutes and brother district scumbags. I wanted to escape and go abroad for basic needs and survival in a foreign country. Could someone help me out here?