Confessions of a Cat-holic (232)

Eddie came from a doctor's family, there really wasn't anything that I would like to change about him. He was that perfect in my point of view. I had seen too many self proclaimed geniuses with blood cancer and other idiosyncrasies so I thought that Eddie was one in a million to me, like a hidden gem that I would like to keep for my own forever.

To be my husband/boyfriend, he needed to pass the appearance and STD tests. I would not sleep with a guy who could be as hot as Aaron Kwok or Alex To, if he was a regular visitor to the brothels. I would not sleep with someone as easy as Edmond. I would not sleep with a guy who did not possess medical common sense. So that already ruled out 99.99% of the guys in my circle. Really there were not that many eligible guys around me who could be my boyfriend/husband. If I went out with a guy who didn't pass these tests (like Edmond for example), you would need to be very careful because he could very well be a trap. Oh on top of those aforementioned test, he also needed to promise that he would never cheat on me after we got married. If he broke that promise, I might need to say goodbye to him. But that would be something I would worry about after he betrayed me. I wouldn't have to check on him like crazy just yet.

Yea, so I couldn't fall in love with any of the guys I met after college. That would make Rex and Eddie the only guys I would consider marrying. When I was dating Rex, I had my reservations, which was why I didn't introduce him to my parents. I was not sure if he was the one for me. I wasn't crazy about Rex enough to break my engagement with Oliver at the time. I didn't want to break that agreement between the two families. To me, marriage was a very serious thing. Also, I was not sure if Rex would cheat on me with other girls. I was not sure if he could be loyal to me for the rest of my life, after all we met each other in middle school. That was a bit too early to commit I thought. I was not sure if that was just his puppy love. I wouldn't trust his promise either even if he proposed to me when I was 16. But then again, at the back of my mind, I had that rebellious self who wanted to drop out of high school to marry a gangster like my many other friends in St Francis. I was worried that I was too crazy. What if he was not serious? What if he didn't want to marry me, like Eddie? I could be expelled from my high school. So this remained my biggest regret: not dropping out of high school to get pregnant with my mafia boyfriend.

Here would be my confession. When I first saw Eddie on campus and on stage, I thought that he was shining like a star, and the most ridiculous thing was that he was also smart and wealthy. Even though he didn't get into medical school yet, I felt safe and secure to give my first night with him, unprotected too. This peace of mind was not attainable with any of the other guys I met elsewhere.

The fact that Eddie was so perfect in my eyes sometimes left me kind of exhausted too. The fact that he was Korean and a neat freak, I felt that I always had to be my best self in front of him. I had to wear make up, very heavy make up when I was with him. I had to maintain a very strict diet so I could look good with my outfits. I had to work out and stay in shape. I had to dress well and shower every time before I met up with him. I didn't want to destroy the Hong Kong brand, making him feel that Hong Kong girls were easy and dirty. I felt more comfortable with Hong Kong guys for this reason; but then I was not attracted to most of the Hong Kong guys I knew. This became the biggest dilemma for me so far. The only good looking guys in my circle were from St Joseph, which I had always had secret admiration for since the age of 6. But Hong Kong was not a free and liberal society where you could just date anyone so I had to say I could only find myself stuck with Wahyanites, whom I hated from the bottom of my heart as a core member of my alma mater. Oh, I would only get married with a guy approved by my family and my alma mater. Yeah, altogether these already blocked 99.999999% of the guys in Hong Kong.