Confessions of a Cat-holic (87)

There were many things that both Vivian and I found funny. She confessed to me one day that she heard Mina poop in the toilet and she immediately rushed out of the bathroom to tell me so. I asked her how she ever found out Mina was pooping, not peeing. Was it the smell? Or what? She said she heard the poop dropped onto the water in the stool. We both agreed that we should never poop in any of the school washrooms. I gladly accepted her pact, since I could not poop in places other than my home anyways.

Another common thing that we would laugh about was body ordor. Vivian told me that So Sing stinked. I found it funny and I would laugh along with her. I actually personally never came in contact close enough to notice his smell but Vivian assured me that he sweated a lot, especially after PE class and basketball games. Vivian and Adam both went to the elementary school of SPCC, so I trusted her perspectives, as well as her senses. Hey, many people stinked too, but Adam liked to walk around like he was the hottest guy on campus so I found his body odor kind of amusing.

Adam So went out with Alice Cheung Ka Wai in an official relationship. Vivian said that Alice Cheung had a strong body order in her armpits too. The girls all had to take off our clothes to get changed in the bathroom so I actually noticed Alice's smell in the fitting room. To be honest, she did stink a little. Not only that, both Adam and Alice looked Pakistani, that they both had very dark skin and eyebrows that were thicker than general. They also had a lot of body hair in areas such as their philtrums, arms and legs. I never saw her naked so I couldn't comment on her pubic hair. But if we ever had access to their private parts, I guessed we might have laughed about it too. Not saying that I was a white tiger, green dragon or hairless in my private parts, I could have found my own pubic area funny looking too.

Both Vivian and I had decided that Adam and Alice were two of a kind, a case of like attracted to like, that they shared the same tastes and even smell. We also suspected that they might both suffer from nasal obstruction, in case they didn't notice each other's "scents".

Even though I played basketball for our class, I was not an athlete, not technically so. I suffered from rosacea in the middle of F4 when I visited Australia where I got a sunburn on my nose. Ever since my trip on a yacht in Great Barrier Reef, I had decided that I should avoid any contact with sunlight to alleviate my skin problems. Vivian reported to our PE instructor that she had allegies to beam rays and skipped all physical education exercises in open spaces and she asked me to do the same too. We then hid away in our own corners next to the little hut on our rooftop during all of our PE classes where there were shades to hide away from the sun. There were times in the winter when I thought we should do a bit of warm up and workout to heat up our bodies a little. But Vivian assured me to never do so because the UVs in winter could be ubiquitous, invisible yet insidious enough to do us irreversible harm.

During our school trip to a remote rural park in Tai Mei Tuk Taipo, Vivian and I just sat aside and complained about the cold weather but the rest of the class were playing some really childish games that I considered lame ever after grade 2. But the weird thing was that they enjoyed it so much, like it was the best pastime activity during the entire academic year. Vivian and I rubbed our fists real hard to keep each other warm and we both agreed that school trips were a complete waste of time.

Our teacher accompanying us in the excursion was obviously displeased. He was Yeung Wai, our chemistry department head who was also appointed to be our class teacher for two years. There was something funny about Yeung Wai. First, he was very short, as a guy. He was less than 5 feet tall so I was around a feet taller than him. Then, it was his name. His name in Chinese sounded exactly like the medical condition, erectile dysfunction (ED). Who on earth would call himself that?